He would be nine...

I wish you were here, Timmy. I wish I was planning your birthday party. I wish I knew what the theme would be :-)--daddy suspects it would still be football. That was birthday number five. That would sure make Daniel happy...he loves football.

we miss you. more than I've let myself feel yet, but it's coming...

I have no words. my face is wet with tears. and yet I have to post something in honor of my precious one. So I remembered these beautiful words written by my dearest of friends, who has loved each of my boys as no auntie ever has in all of history.

Six years ago today (written 3 years ago) the sweetest boy in the world came into our lives. But God had him in mind long before we ever met Timmy. Here is a birthday poem for the little guy and for his daddy and mama and brothers, too.

When God Made You, Timmy

When God made you, Timmy
He had in mind
The sweetest smile one could ever see
And big brown eyes under a furrowed brow
With a mind as keen as could be

He formed little hands that would play His beat
Little feet that would carry good news
And a heart so big it could change the whole world
'Cause loving others is what you'd always choose

When God made you, Tim
He had in mind
The mama and dad who would love you so dear
And how you would be their greatest delight
With the sweetest voice they ever could hear
He gave them to you, and you to them
That together He could show you His love
And how there's nothing He wants more
Than to be with his kids
And grow a family that is born from above

When God made you, Timmy
He had in mind
How your laugh would change us all
As you'd play and joke and have so much fun
With brothers and drums and baseball

Your laughter and games
Brought us closer each day
As we'd share you and discuss all you'd done
A family united God accomplished through you
With distance and tears switched for fun

When God made you, Tim
He had in mind
The way you'd grow to know His Word
That a boy so young could grasp what so many miss
About the greatest story every heard

The light of His Kingdom was found in your eyes
With the wisdom of the ages you spoke
You told of what mattered
Faith, Salvation, Love
With the music and songs that you wrote

When God made you, Timmy
He had in mind
All the strength you would have in this fight
How you'd never give up no matter how hard it got
With medicine and shots every night

Despite chemo for months
Countless surgeries and pain
You still thought of others who were suffering like you
In the midst of your pain you asked Mama one day,
"Can I go play songs for them when all this is through?"

When God made you, Tim
He had in mind
All the lives that would change 'cause of you
How you'd point us to Him
With the light of your life
So our hearts could be changed and made new

The loss of you, Timmy is too deep to explain
The world's forever changed with you gone
Our comfort's that you're free from sickness and pain
And that we'll be with you when a new day is dawned

Cause when God made you, Timmy
He didn't only have in mind
The days you would live on this earth
He was already thinking how He'd spend forever with you
Long before the day of your birth

So He made you a spot near where angels do sing
Because He more than anyone knew
That only eternity would be long enough
To spend with a boy such as you

The good news for us all is we're invited to be
With you both when our time here is done
And I for one
Wouldn't miss it for the world
I'll see you soon, Little Tim, Precious One